I haven't blogged about Tough Mudder in awhile. It bugs me. Because I haven't had much to blog about. THAT bugs me. It's good that it bugs me though right?
I've been busy with my first vendor show for my baking business though.
I signed up for a show with a week and a half to prepare. I've never done one before, so that's 11 days to design, order and print a banner, business cards, and menus, in addition to sorting out the details of my display AND baking everything to bring with me. I'm getting tired again just thinking about it all.
See, I feel less bad knowing I've been doing something productive. I'd feel worse if I wasn't muddering AND I wasn't doing anything else. But the challenge here is to have balance, and I'm struggling with that.
It's hard to make a routine and stick to it when there's all of these other things that just get in the way. I think it's mainly the feeling of not having enough hours in the day, not enough fuel in the tank, y'know? I do a great job of sticking to the routine until something gets in the way. Like when I get home at 11 because I've worked all day then taught Paint Nite too, and I'm up late, my ideal of waking up early and doing a work out the next day goes down the toilet. Or when I do get home at a reasonable time from work but I have to bake 160 cookies... stuff like that just gets in the way.
Life is just a mess of moments though, of things getting in the way of other things and the challenge is always to just deal with it. So that's the challenge here, to do my thang even when other thangs get in the way. I have to get that motivation back up and look at every challenge as an obstacle and just figure out how to get over it. That's what I'm training for anyway right?
It's funny, because I've said some of this out loud at one point or another, and people have argued. They tell me "what are you talking about, you do so much!". Well, that's not really the case. It seems that way to some though just because I ran once that week, and they ran 0 lol. And my conversations with people have put some things into perspective too, like how people view exercise and their ability to do it. I'm starting to see more and more that it really is all in your head. We all have the potential within us to run 20 km, for example, but it's a matter of when we'll be able to after how much training to do so.
Everyone wants to "just be able to do it" . I want to "just be able to run a mile without stopping". In fact, I'm incredibly jealous of my husband's running stamina. I know sulking about it won't make me a better runner though. Talking about it won't change my endurance either. Practice will. Practice and dedication and staying motivated, that's how I'm going to run a mile without stopping, and that's how I'm going to do this thing in September. But I need to try harder.
So now that some of my insanity has passed and my first vendor show is behind me, I need to reorganize myself, and create a plan to stick to. Whether it's making Monday push up day or setting my alarm 1/2 hour earlier every day, I need to build a schedule or guideline , stick it on the fridge and just do what it says to do every day.
So that's what I'm about to do now, make that schedule. And I'm going to actually stick to it.
...hopefully
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